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Love Languages

By Kim Jessie

During February, our hearts turn to those we love.  Children give Valentine’s Day cards to their friends.  We give cards, candy, and flowers to those we love.  We go out to dinner and fix special meals for the important people in our lives.  We do our best to show them that we love them.

According to Drs. Cloud and Townsend, we all have love languages.  These love languages are the ways we feel and share love.  Love languages are like any other languages.  If we do not understand the language, we don’t communicate.  Sometimes, we speak one language to our family member or friend and they speak another language.  When this happens, we speak love, but they do not hear what we have to say.  Recognizing that there are 5 love languages allows us to learn languages we don’t speak.  This way, we can be fluent in all five languages and speak love to everyone.

How does this help?  First, this helps us know that someone may be trying to speak love to us, but they might not know our language.  We can help them understand our language.  Second, we can recognize the love languages of those important to us and speak those languages to them.  This will help them know they are loved.  Third, we can recognize that volunteers need to be spoken love to in multiple ways.  Finally, we can realize that complaints may be the result of miscommunication of love languages.

The five love languages are:  Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation.

Acts of Service: Actions and behaviors communicate love and appreciation to the other person.

Gifts:  Receiving a gift helps this person feel loved and appreciated.  Usually, the gift does not have to be expense.

Physical Touch:  Appropriate touch helps this person feel loved and appreciated.  This is the only love language that may inappropriate in the workplace.

Quality Time:  This person feels loved and appreciation when undivided attention is given to them.

Words of Affirmation: This language uses words to show love and appreciation to the other person.

The Five Love Languages website provides additional information and the opportunity to take a free love languages assessment.  You can also take the assessment with your children in mind to have a better understanding of their love languages



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